My Dad (in his early 50s) is gradually regressing in his behavior. I think it’s partially due to senility.
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He does not really see his problem for what it is. He recognizes that he has a poor memory. He recognizes his frequent confusion in dinner table conversations. But he doesn’t connect the dots, and he doesn’t make any effort to ameliorate his situation.
If I were him, I would start taking nootropics (smart drugs) which have been shown to replenish neuro-transmitters and the like in older folks, thus enhancing cognitive performance. Doctors use this to treat Alzheimer’s.
The problem, though, is that I am not him (Is that really a problem?). And I can’t vicariously take medication for him. I could hypothetically sit him down to discuss his condition, thus letting him know what I think of him. But I would feel really uncomfortable doing so. After all, I’m his son. I’m 15 and he’s 52. How weird would that be?
Would it be ethical (also, feasible) to address his problem without ever informing him of it? Would it be all right to slip the smart drugs in one of his other medicine bottles? I would feel kind of bad doing this, but when you consider the two options from a utilitarian perspective, the answer is obvious. What do you think?
If your dad has not been properly diagnosed you could endanger his life by “slipping” it in his drink. You don’t know what kind of side-effects it could have on him if any or he could be one a few million that can die from side-effects gone wrong. This would be unethical to say the least.
What you need to do is talk to your family doctor about your concerns and have the family doctor get in touch with your father and tell him it is time for an physical assessment and overall assessment; After they meet then all of his family need to be in the doctors office to be there when the doctor explains to your father that his cognitive status has delcined and that he has a medication to help him with this. His doctor should be fully aware of condition and the treatment available. The family should all be there for moral support. He may try to resist at first but you all need to explain to him why it is importaint to start the medication the doctor feels is approporate. Hope that helps and I wish you and your family well.
I am in my fifties and have some mental disorders. I have come to realize this and have learned to get it treated, professionally.
I also took care of my father the last 5 years of his life. He suffered from Alzheimer’s, a disease that not only effects the person who has it but also has an effect on the family. I understand your concerns and feelings.
It is commendable that at 15 you are aware of what your father is beginning to show and that you want to help him. But don’t start giving your father any medications or supplements, with him knowing or not knowing. And don’t try to diagnos his apparent problems yourself by what you may read or see. These things should be done by a medical professional. It maybe just an age thing or the early signs of something else.
You have indicated that your dad is still cognitive and to carry on a conversation and, I assume, still active, especially in his dailly life. You are right in saying that someone needs to discuss this with him. You have not said whether or not your mother is available to talk with, but if she is, talk with her first. She would be better suited to talk with your dad. If not, you may attempt to do this yourself. Be gentle in your approach. Try doing this in a nonjudgmental way, showing your concern and expressing your love for him. Your father may come to realize that there is a problem.
If that doesn’t work, talk to someone else outside of your immediate family. This may be an uncle, aunt,or clergyman. This might be too challenging for you but, if nothing else, talk to someone about how you feel.
Become informed. Seek out mental health sources in your community. This may help you to drop some of your fears. These sources may also be able to steer you in the right direction and may be able to help you in talking to your dad.
As a word of encouragement, my son was only 10 when we took my father in to take care of him. He was my right-hand man. He help me take of my dad until the day he left us. It was hard on my son. But he came away from that situation stronger in his faith with a greater respect for life and the people around him. He is now 24, married, and successful. He built on his experiences and has become quite the fellow. I am proud of him.
Hang in there. Say your prayers. God bless you. Go with the grace of God.
See Alzheimer’s and memory improvement, in sections 29, and 41, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Avoid all “alumin(i)um” & “fluoride” products: http://www.mercola.com SEARCHBAR. You can offer to play memory improving card games (section 41) with him.
First I would like to say that you are a wonderful son. Your parents did a great job raising you. They must be proud of you. I do think that having a conversation with you dad is a good idea, and would be showing your love, and concern, and would be received that way.
You must understand that this is a very trying time in your fathers life, he is in touch with his mortality,and re evaluating his life. It is a confusing time and is more than likely the cause of the behavior which is causing you concern. You however are making a very lager mistake by diagnosing the problem, you are not qualified to do that. Even considering “sneaking” drug to him is a major concern. Don’t do that. Asking him to see a doctor to be evaluated is the way to go.